It’s
about the money. It is important to realize this as your child
enters the Special Ed or intervention system that has been
established to fix your child. It’s not about helping your child
with his/her individual struggles with ADHD, dyslexia, hearing
problems, motor skill problems, shape recognition problem, or other
learning disorder.
Some one other than you decided what things are
going to fix your child before they met him or her and they
allocated the money to do those things. The people who administer
the system that they have been required to create are primarily
concerned about the money and the district does not want to spend
it. As a result, they will not inform you of all of the resources
that are available to try to help your child get an education and
this information will have to be dragged out of them. As much as
they try to intimidate you and make you feel that they are in
charge, remember that you are in charge, your child has a legal
right to an uninterrupted public education, you are fighting for
your child, and you have the ultimate say over where your child
attends school and what individualized education program is
implemented to help him or her. They will not tell you this or what
is available so that you can make a decision. If you ask them for a
list of available resources the answer you will get is something
like, “Well, in your child’s case, with his particular disability,
we normally do XYZ”. XYZ do not include making sure that your child
is not teased or bullied, new student welcoming committees, or
increased security and supervision that would allow your child to
focus more on his/her school work and enjoying their school
experience rather than social issues.
The
Resource Manager or Special Ed Administrator you are dealing with
reports to a district Student Resource Director who reports to the
district Superintendent. Unfortunately, the Super’s primary concerns
are not your child’s education. They are the money and getting high
scores on standardized testing in the district, which gets him/her
more money and maybe a bonus. If the Student Resource Director does
not help the Super with these goals, he or she will lose their job.
If your child’s Special Ed Administrator does not help the Director
help the Super with these goals, he or she will lose their job and
they all know it. Consequently, no one will tell you what is
available to help your child and they will try to keep any spending
to a minimum. They will also try to take steps that will keep your
child from affecting the school’s over all test scores and this
means isolation or telling your child that he/she doesn’t have to
take the tests.
They
will also make every attempt to make you bear the burden of the
expense by telling you that you should hire tutors or send your
child to a therapist who they will recommend. The tutors and
therapists get most of their business from the school and they are
not inclined to antagonize the schools by providing you with
information that would go against the district’s concerns about
money and standardized testing. Drugging your child is another way
that the school will attempt to exercise control and make you bear
the expense. Most children go through the following process to get
drugged: A teacher gets frustrated over a child’s behavior and
speaks to the school counselor suggesting that the child may need to
be drugged to help them, the counselor speaks to the school
psychologist suggesting that the child needs to be drugged, the
school psychologist refers the child to a county psychiatrist
suggesting that the child is depressed or psychotic and needs to be
drugged, the county psychiatrist interviews the child briefly and
prescribes drugs. Your child becomes drugged because a teacher did
not like him/her or the teacher has problems of their own that
affect their abilities to cope with behavioral characteristics in
students. While all of the individuals along this chain are trained
and considered to be professionals, they are human beings involved
with each other in their daily careers and they are susceptible to
their peer’s opinions. The drugs prescribed are mind altering and
often lead to an increase in anger, suicidal thoughts, and psychotic
episodes when they are needlessly prescribed.
All
of this may sound hopeless and frightening but there are things that
you can do to insure that your child gets every chance to succeed.
Remember that you are in charge. Use the system to create a learning
environment for your child where he/she is free to enjoy school and
have fun while they are being educated. Usually, there are two
problems. One is your child’s disability and the other involves
social issues. Each one will affect the other but they must be
treated separately. Accept that, except for the more brilliant
people at your child’s school, that the teachers or administrators
will not like you.
The
most important thing is to become immediately aware that something
is bothering your child. Talk to him or her and ask what is
bothering them. Your child may have been dealing with something like
ADHD, shape recognition, or motor skill issues all along and getting
A’s, B’s or C’s and they suddenly get C’s, D’s or F’s. They may
change from having fun to being sullen and staying to themselves.
They may drop off of the soccer or baseball team and become
interested only in video games. They may suddenly refuse to go to
school or develop a sudden interest in weapons. Their disability has
just become harder for them to cope with for some reason.
If
your child is suffering because of bullies, your divorce, drug or
alcohol abuse, neglect, abuse by you or a new boyfriend or
girlfriend, a move to a new school district, or just entering high
school, no Special Ed program is going to help them with these
problems. Your child will be, to use the term in a non-clinical
matter, depressed. Being upset over these situations does not mean
that your child needs to be drugged or enter therapy. Therapy can be
important in these situations but only if it is with someone who
does not regularly work with the school and you decide on the course
of action to help your child cope. Therapy will not fix a disability
but it will help your child deal with it, accept it in a positive
manner, and handle social issues. If you cannot afford it, it is
available though the county but make it clear that your child’s
therapy is not part of a Special Ed program and the therapist is not
to report to the school. Have your child tested by an independent
clinical psychologist not associated with the school. Districts will
pay for this. Ask the psychologist about possible drug intervention.
Disabilities such as ADHD, ADD, and depression can be treated in
ways that don’t involve drugs. This way you will be armed with a
full understanding of your child’s disability and knowledge as to
whether drugs are required to help your child. Never let the school
system start the drugging process.
Unless
your child’s school has had a recent shooting, assume that your
child, along with the other Special Ed children, is being teased and
bullied. Special Ed kids always get teased and bullied. Children
will not report this because of fear of reprisal or embarrassment.
Another indicator is that school restrictions against bullying are
not included in written school policies along with prohibitions
against race and sexual harassment. Meet with the principal and ask
him/her what steps the school is taking to prevent bullying and let
it be known that you expect your child to be protected. You have a
right to demand that an adult shadow your child for his/her
protection and the protection of others. Given a choice, most
principals will opt for an on campus police officer to protect all
children. Ask the principal what new student welcoming and social
resolution programs exist. Notify the police of any incident you
become aware of and, if needed contact the local paper. An email
titled, “Environment Similar to Columbine’s Exists at XXXX School”,
will get noticed. After a school shooting, the bullying stops but,
try to stop it from getting to this point.
Control
who deals with your child. You have every right to demand a new
counselor or class change for your child. Interview the counselor
and ask them if they are familiar with your child’s form of
disability. If they are not, never let your child talk to them. If a
teacher does not like your child or does not seem to be able to
cope, you have every right to demand a new classroom. Ask your
child’s teachers if they are familiar with your child’s disability.
If they are not, ask the principal to schedule training seminars for
the teachers or, at the very least, to distribute reading material.
Make sure that the people your child comes in contact with are
positive and encouraging as opposed to critical and discouraging.
While you cannot expect every teacher to jump on your child’s
bandwagon, you can keep them from the most discouraging and harmful.
Most children are not fixed by the system. They are fixed by an
individual who reaches them. You must give your child every possible
chance to meet this person.
Ask
the Resource or Special Ed Administrator if they feel unduly
pressured by the district to curtail their intervention programs.
Inform him or her that, with their assistance, you will be
developing an individualized education program for your child and
that you need to be made aware of all available resources. This will
put him or her on notice that you are ware of what happens in
Special Ed Programs and that you know that you are in charge. If the
Resource Manager will not list the resources available make a list
of the problem areas reported by the psychologist and ask what will
be done about each one. You will uncover more resources through this
process. After you have collected all of this information, assume
that anything is available and put together a program for your child
and ask for the Resource Manager’s input. Special Ed is a stigma to
most kids and can create social issues. Make sure that you tell the
Resource Manager that you want the intervention to be as low profile
as possible. An ideal situation would be for your child to have a
place to go to help with schoolwork each day. Special Ed laws give
your child a right to an education alongside his peers. Try to avoid
isolation in Special Ed rooms at all costs.
Make
sure that you keep the school on task. They will try to blame you
and ask you questions like how is your child’s diet, how much sleep
does your child get, or whether you drink or not. Ask them if they
have a program to correct your child’s malnourishment, sleeping
habits, or your drinking problem. If they don’t then tell them to
focus on what they can do to make sure that your child gets an
education.
If
none of this works, have your child transferred to a different
school and start the process over again. Do not give up and don’t
let the school talk you into worrying about the
money.