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Articles: Self - Criticize but be
Nice
By Zaak
OConan
Have you ever
encountered an experience when someone told you how fat you've
become? Maybe your boss have commented on how bad your work turned
out to be. Maybe you've heard from other folks how people view you
as cold and unapproachable. Hurts, doesn't it?
Believe it or
not, some people can be so tactless that they are not even aware
when they've hurt anyone's feelings. The receiving parties,
especially the sensitive ones, would be offended by their remarks.
This would result in conflicts and arguments. You know you're doing
them a big favor by saving them from shame or disappointment, but
would they realize your good intentions instead of feeling hurt by
your brutally frank comments or advices?
They might probably
think you're too rude or impolite. But what can you do if you really
need to assert an honest criticism, but you're afraid of hurting
others' feelings?
Want to know the secret? All you have to
do is sandwich your negative comment between two positive remarks.
For example, your best friend Paul is going on his very first date.
He's all excited and raring to go. Now Paul doesn't have any fashion
sense. He's wearing a bland shirt and old jeans. You know all along
how he hates to admit that he's wrong. So what will you do to save
Paul from an embarassing first date? Would you say to him that the
outfit he's wearing is repulsive? That would hurt his ego.
Well, you can first point out the things that you like in
his overall appearance. Comment on his well-groomed hair. Tell him
he looks cool when wearing his sunglasses. Ask him where he bought
his perfume because it can certainly attract women like bees to
honey. Be sincere and honest.
Then, insert in a nice and
suave manner your point of view and advice. You can tell him
something like: "Your shirt seems to be very comfortable to wear,
Paul. Since this is your very first date, I think Sandra (his date)
will be much more impressed if you would wear something like the
outfit that you wore on my birthday. You look smashing when you put
on clothes like that."
Afterwards, make another positive
statement. You could say something like: "You would definitely make
a big impact on Sandra. She would fall heads over heels over your
gorgeous appearance and cheerful personality. Have a great time on
your date, Paul."
Do you think Paul would be offended by
such pleasant comments? Not a chance. You have wittingly inserted a
slightly negative feedback into a plethora of acceptable and
ego-boosting remarks.
People love compliments. They believe
they got the qualities. They want other people to intensify the
great abilities that they believe to possess. People wanted to hear
their greatness purported from someone else's mouth, and they would
be very glad if other individuals would know about it.
So if
you want to criticize anybody, remember to praise him first. It will
leave a positive impression that you're a nice guy. Then say what
you have to say, but in a smooth and non-offensive manner. Finalize
with another positive reinforcement to establish a foundation of
goodwill.
Zaak
O'Conan discovers and presents useful information on to enhance
and/or repair your life, body and relationships. You'll find his
other articles on how to improve your life and expand your horizons
at http://your-health-center.com
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